A typical Super Bowl preview breaks down the game, key match-ups, and ultimately at the end will make a prediction on who will win. I am taking a different approach to it this year. This will be a fattie's guide to the "big" game this year. I'll highlight places to eat, fatties to keep an eye on during the game, and I'll still offer my prediction for the game. Without further adu, The Fatties Guide to Super Bowl 46.
Places to eat
I am from Indiana and have visited Indianapolis many times, so let me tell you, alot of solid options to visit. Most fatties tend to gravitate towards the buffet, as it offers the most bang for your buck. However if you're at the Super Bowl, no reason not to spend a little more money to have better food and still get full. I'm a big fan of the Weber Grill Restaurant in downton Indy. You can never go wrong with BBQ, and this place certainly knows what they are doing. I recommend a lunch visit here. You can't go wrong with either the Slow-Smoked Pulled Pork or the BBQ Pulled Beer Can Chicken sandwiches. A huge sandwich and only 10 bucks. Their burgers are also fantastic. I'm a big fan of the Wisconsin KettleBurger. Lots of cheese, beef, and bacon and not a whole lot of room for lame stuff, like lettuce and tomatoes. If you're a big spender, the large slab of ribs is a fairly good value at 22 bucks. As a fattie, it's okay to get dressed up every now then, especially if the Super Bowl is the reason you're in town. With that being said, you're probably looking for a more upscale place to eat dinner. Let me recommend Shula's Steakhouse, located in the Westin Hotel. They have an 48 oz porterhouse steak challenge that is music to the average fattie's ear. Finish it and you'll join an exclusive club. It will definitely be on more of the expensive side but well worth it.
Fatties in the Spotlight
Somehow when a fattie gets singled out for their effort, as VinceWilfork was for his play against the Ravens, it instills a sense of pride amongst all fatties. It gives them someone to stand behind and say, "He's just like one of us." The good news for fatties everywhere is that Vince Wilfork and Vince Wilfork's gut get to play in the Super Bowl. Every time that belly jiggles, us fatties can knock back a cold one and say, "This one's for you Vince." He is not the only fattie that will be playing in the game. Other fatties to keep an eye on include Matt Light, Brian Waters, and Nate Solder for the Patriots; and Kareem McKenzie, David Baas, and Chis Snee for the Giants.
Prediction
This is being billed as a rematch of Super Bowl 42, but these are two completely different teams than what played in that game. I really believe the Giants will struggle covering both Rob Gronkowski and Aaron Hernadez, but the Patriots secondary also isn't very good, so covering Hakeem Nicks, Mario Manningham, and Victor Cruz will be a struggle for the Patriots. It should be an exciting game, with both teams trading big plays.
Final Score: Patriots 27-Giants 24
Monday, January 23, 2012
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
Early 2012 NFL mock draft
1. Indianapolis Colts- This pick should be a no brainer. Both Todd McShay and Mel Kiper called Andrew Luck one of the three best QB's they've ever evaluated.
Pick- Andrew Luck QB, Stanford
2. St. Louis Rams- Too early to think about the Heisman winner here, not to mention I think they need to find out what they have in Sam Bradford. What they need is to give Bradford someone to throw it too. Probably a more complete prospect than Julio Jones was, and he went 6th last year.
Pick- Justin Blackmon WR, Oklahoma St
3. Minnesota Vikings- Christian Ponder actually came in and played fairly well, which was a good sign after many questioned taking him that high last year. They have some solid skill players, but their line play left alot to be desired, especially on the offensive line.
Pick- Matt Kalil OT, USC
4. Cleveland Browns- Peyton Hillis may be gone this offseason and even when he was in there he didn't produce all that much. The Browns definitely need some firepower on offense and they have to know by now Colt McCoy is not the answer at QB.
Pick- Robery Griffin III QB, Baylor
5. Tampa Bay Buccaneers-Their secondary really struggled all year, especially the corner position. Best player available and it fills a need.
Pick- Morris Claiborne CB, LSU
6. Washington Redskins- They need a QB but they will probably look for that need in a trade (Matt Flynn or Peyton Manning?). The secondary is still a work in progress. They could use this pick to improve the cornerback position.
Pick-Dre Kirkpatrick CB, Alabama
7. Jacksonville Jaguars- The Jags have tried in multiple drafts to upgrade the pass rush but really none of those picks have turned out so far. This time may be the charm
Pick- Devon Still DE, Penn St
8. Miami Dolphins- Hopefully they can either move up or get a QB in free agency, because that position needs to be addressed. They will need someone to keep their QB upright though. They have a solid left tackle in Jake Long but they could use someone to slide in on the right side.
Pick- Riley Reiff OT, Iowa
9. Carolina Panthers- Cam Newton was a homerun pick, but now it's time to protect the franchise QB. An offensive tackle makes alot of sense with this pick.
Pick- Jonathan Martin OT, Stanford
10. Buffalo Bills- A fast start quickly fizzled this season, making it apparent they still need pieces on the defensive side of the ball. One area of particular concern is at linebacker. They need someone that can get after the QB.
Pick- Quinton Coples DE, UNC
11. Seattle Seahawks- This class is weak on pass rushers, at least elite pass rushers. This guy lead the nation in sacks this year and is very versatile.
Pick- Whitney Mercilus DE, Illinois
12. Kansas City Chiefs- Matt Cassell or Kyle Orton next season? Regardless of who it is, they need someone to throw to. I have a feeling Dwayne Bowe would love this pick, as it would take some of the defense's pressure off of him.
Pick- Michael Floyd WR, Notre Dame
13. Arizona Cardinals- They made a great pick last year in Patrick Peterson, someone who really shined his rookie year. Still need some defensive help in order to really compete in this league, but they also need offensive line help.
Pick-David DeCastro OG, Stanford
14. Dallas Cowboys- They really need to look long and hard at drafting a corner with this pick. If you need convincing why, just look at their last game against the Giants.
Pick- Stephon Gilmore CB, South Carolina
15. Philadelphia Eagles- The "Dream Team" quickly became a nightmare this season and almost lead to Andy Reid losing his job. They have a solid mix in place but they need to get younger on the defensive front 7.
Pick- Courtney Upshaw OLB, Alabama
16. New York Jets- The Jets defensive really showed their age this season, especially along the defensive line. Time to inject some youth into that position.
Pick- Nick Perry DE, USC
17. Cincinnati Bengals (from Oakland)- If he falls this far, the Bengals would be stupid not to draft him. Benson definitely isn't getting any younger and it showed this season.
Pick- Trent Richardson RB, Alabama
18. San Diego Chargers- A little surprised Norv Turner is still there, with another disappointing finish. Rivers got abused this season because both of the left and right tackles aren't very good. An upgrade is definitely needed.
Pick- Mike Adams OT, Ohio St
19. Chicago Bears- The Bears biggest problem is they really don't have anyone that can stretch the field. This guy was electric for the Gamecocks this season and fills a huge need.
Pick- Alshon Jeffery WR, South Carolina
20. Tennessee Titans- They are still in a pass-happy division, which means they need to get after the QB. Their pass rush was almost non-existent last season.
Pick- Andre Branch DE, Clemson
21. Denver Broncos- Their overtime win against the Steelers was one of the greatest things I have ever witnessed. Their playmakers on defense really stepped up, however Brian Dawkins will probably not be back so they need to do something about the safety position.
Pick- Mark Barron S, Alabama
22. New York Giants- It really has been amazing the players they've been able to get at the defensive end position. Matt Ryan just had no time to throw in that playoff game. Thing is that unit is still relatively young. They need to do something about the linebacker position though.
Pick- Vontaze Burfict ILB, Arizona St
23. Cincinnati Bengals- Got a solid running back with the first pick, so this pick may just be used on the best player available. Best guess is that they look at a defensive lineman.
Pick- Sam Montgomery DE, LSU
24. Houston Texans- What a turn-a-round that defense made, thanks to a slew of draft picks that have stepped up. They could look at a wideout here, but my gut is saying it will be used along the o-line.
Pick- Cordy Glenn OG, Georgia
25. Cleveland Browns (from Atlanta Falcons)- Two first round picks might mean one of these gets traded but if they hold on to this one, they need to find a running back. Peyton Hillis is not the long-term answer there.
Pick- Lamar Miller RB, Miami (Fl)
26. Detroit Lions- They have got to address the interior of their offensive line. That is the main reason that they can't run the ball in short yardage situations. This is definitely a team headed in the right direction though.
Pick-Peter Konz C, Wisconsin
27. Pittsburgh Steelers- Man, that is an old defense they have in Pittsburgh. Almost everyone is over the age of 32. Youth is desperately needed all over. Especially in the secondary, a secondary that got toasted by Tim Tebow on Sunday.
Pick- Alfonzo Dennard CB, Nebraska
28. Baltimore Ravens- They are also a team that needs to get younger on the defensive side of the ball. They could use some young pass rush help.
Pick- Melvin Ingram DE, South Carolina
29. New England Patriots (from New Orleans)- Any Patriots fan will tell you they need to use both of these first round picks on the defensive side of the ball. I will agree with them, although it's likely one of them gets traded.
Pick- Dont'a Hightower ILB, Alabama
30. San Francisco 49ers- Aldon Smith played great this season, one of the many reasons that they went 13-3. As good as their defense was this season, the offense was most definitely a work in progress. They eventually need an upgrade to Alex Smith at the QB spot, but for now I think they take the best player available.
Pick- Zach Brown OLB, UNC
31. New England Patriots- They need to do something about the pass rush in this draft. The best thing about being ahead is that you can rush the passer but they lack the players to do it constistently and effectively.
Pick-Jared Crick DE, Nebraska
32. Green Bay Packers-They are really in the position were they can afford to take a little bit of a luxury with this pick. They have so many playmakers on offense and could really use a few more playmakers on defense.
Pick-Jerel Worthy DT, Michigan St
Pick- Andrew Luck QB, Stanford
2. St. Louis Rams- Too early to think about the Heisman winner here, not to mention I think they need to find out what they have in Sam Bradford. What they need is to give Bradford someone to throw it too. Probably a more complete prospect than Julio Jones was, and he went 6th last year.
Pick- Justin Blackmon WR, Oklahoma St
3. Minnesota Vikings- Christian Ponder actually came in and played fairly well, which was a good sign after many questioned taking him that high last year. They have some solid skill players, but their line play left alot to be desired, especially on the offensive line.
Pick- Matt Kalil OT, USC
4. Cleveland Browns- Peyton Hillis may be gone this offseason and even when he was in there he didn't produce all that much. The Browns definitely need some firepower on offense and they have to know by now Colt McCoy is not the answer at QB.
Pick- Robery Griffin III QB, Baylor
5. Tampa Bay Buccaneers-Their secondary really struggled all year, especially the corner position. Best player available and it fills a need.
Pick- Morris Claiborne CB, LSU
6. Washington Redskins- They need a QB but they will probably look for that need in a trade (Matt Flynn or Peyton Manning?). The secondary is still a work in progress. They could use this pick to improve the cornerback position.
Pick-Dre Kirkpatrick CB, Alabama
7. Jacksonville Jaguars- The Jags have tried in multiple drafts to upgrade the pass rush but really none of those picks have turned out so far. This time may be the charm
Pick- Devon Still DE, Penn St
8. Miami Dolphins- Hopefully they can either move up or get a QB in free agency, because that position needs to be addressed. They will need someone to keep their QB upright though. They have a solid left tackle in Jake Long but they could use someone to slide in on the right side.
Pick- Riley Reiff OT, Iowa
9. Carolina Panthers- Cam Newton was a homerun pick, but now it's time to protect the franchise QB. An offensive tackle makes alot of sense with this pick.
Pick- Jonathan Martin OT, Stanford
10. Buffalo Bills- A fast start quickly fizzled this season, making it apparent they still need pieces on the defensive side of the ball. One area of particular concern is at linebacker. They need someone that can get after the QB.
Pick- Quinton Coples DE, UNC
11. Seattle Seahawks- This class is weak on pass rushers, at least elite pass rushers. This guy lead the nation in sacks this year and is very versatile.
Pick- Whitney Mercilus DE, Illinois
12. Kansas City Chiefs- Matt Cassell or Kyle Orton next season? Regardless of who it is, they need someone to throw to. I have a feeling Dwayne Bowe would love this pick, as it would take some of the defense's pressure off of him.
Pick- Michael Floyd WR, Notre Dame
13. Arizona Cardinals- They made a great pick last year in Patrick Peterson, someone who really shined his rookie year. Still need some defensive help in order to really compete in this league, but they also need offensive line help.
Pick-David DeCastro OG, Stanford
14. Dallas Cowboys- They really need to look long and hard at drafting a corner with this pick. If you need convincing why, just look at their last game against the Giants.
Pick- Stephon Gilmore CB, South Carolina
15. Philadelphia Eagles- The "Dream Team" quickly became a nightmare this season and almost lead to Andy Reid losing his job. They have a solid mix in place but they need to get younger on the defensive front 7.
Pick- Courtney Upshaw OLB, Alabama
16. New York Jets- The Jets defensive really showed their age this season, especially along the defensive line. Time to inject some youth into that position.
Pick- Nick Perry DE, USC
17. Cincinnati Bengals (from Oakland)- If he falls this far, the Bengals would be stupid not to draft him. Benson definitely isn't getting any younger and it showed this season.
Pick- Trent Richardson RB, Alabama
18. San Diego Chargers- A little surprised Norv Turner is still there, with another disappointing finish. Rivers got abused this season because both of the left and right tackles aren't very good. An upgrade is definitely needed.
Pick- Mike Adams OT, Ohio St
19. Chicago Bears- The Bears biggest problem is they really don't have anyone that can stretch the field. This guy was electric for the Gamecocks this season and fills a huge need.
Pick- Alshon Jeffery WR, South Carolina
20. Tennessee Titans- They are still in a pass-happy division, which means they need to get after the QB. Their pass rush was almost non-existent last season.
Pick- Andre Branch DE, Clemson
21. Denver Broncos- Their overtime win against the Steelers was one of the greatest things I have ever witnessed. Their playmakers on defense really stepped up, however Brian Dawkins will probably not be back so they need to do something about the safety position.
Pick- Mark Barron S, Alabama
22. New York Giants- It really has been amazing the players they've been able to get at the defensive end position. Matt Ryan just had no time to throw in that playoff game. Thing is that unit is still relatively young. They need to do something about the linebacker position though.
Pick- Vontaze Burfict ILB, Arizona St
23. Cincinnati Bengals- Got a solid running back with the first pick, so this pick may just be used on the best player available. Best guess is that they look at a defensive lineman.
Pick- Sam Montgomery DE, LSU
24. Houston Texans- What a turn-a-round that defense made, thanks to a slew of draft picks that have stepped up. They could look at a wideout here, but my gut is saying it will be used along the o-line.
Pick- Cordy Glenn OG, Georgia
25. Cleveland Browns (from Atlanta Falcons)- Two first round picks might mean one of these gets traded but if they hold on to this one, they need to find a running back. Peyton Hillis is not the long-term answer there.
Pick- Lamar Miller RB, Miami (Fl)
26. Detroit Lions- They have got to address the interior of their offensive line. That is the main reason that they can't run the ball in short yardage situations. This is definitely a team headed in the right direction though.
Pick-Peter Konz C, Wisconsin
27. Pittsburgh Steelers- Man, that is an old defense they have in Pittsburgh. Almost everyone is over the age of 32. Youth is desperately needed all over. Especially in the secondary, a secondary that got toasted by Tim Tebow on Sunday.
Pick- Alfonzo Dennard CB, Nebraska
28. Baltimore Ravens- They are also a team that needs to get younger on the defensive side of the ball. They could use some young pass rush help.
Pick- Melvin Ingram DE, South Carolina
29. New England Patriots (from New Orleans)- Any Patriots fan will tell you they need to use both of these first round picks on the defensive side of the ball. I will agree with them, although it's likely one of them gets traded.
Pick- Dont'a Hightower ILB, Alabama
30. San Francisco 49ers- Aldon Smith played great this season, one of the many reasons that they went 13-3. As good as their defense was this season, the offense was most definitely a work in progress. They eventually need an upgrade to Alex Smith at the QB spot, but for now I think they take the best player available.
Pick- Zach Brown OLB, UNC
31. New England Patriots- They need to do something about the pass rush in this draft. The best thing about being ahead is that you can rush the passer but they lack the players to do it constistently and effectively.
Pick-Jared Crick DE, Nebraska
32. Green Bay Packers-They are really in the position were they can afford to take a little bit of a luxury with this pick. They have so many playmakers on offense and could really use a few more playmakers on defense.
Pick-Jerel Worthy DT, Michigan St
Monday, January 2, 2012
Top 5 Fatties in the MLB
No, fatties are not excluded from playing baseball. By all historical accounts, the great Babe Ruth was a fatty himself. This isn't saying that fatties can't get it done at the major league baseball level, just they must be extremely good at hitting, mostly hitting it out of the park. This is pretty much the only way fatties in the MLB can be sure they make it around the bases. The only way I play baseball these days is if I'm on a field that I can be sure I'll hit it out of the park. This is how players like Prince Fielder are still playing. He either hits it out or just stops on first. No need to overexert yourself, ya know? Don't worry, this list won't be all hitters.
5. David Ortiz
Anyone that has the nickname "Big Papi" is okay in my book. Two positions are popular among fatties: first base and designated hitter. It is obvious as to why they are popular. They both require far less physical than say center field or short stop. By checking in at 6'4", 235, he fits in to the fatty requirements. At this point he is purely a DH, further solidifying his fatty status.
4. Carlos Lee
Sorry, but I just couldn't resist using that picture. This spot is dedicated to my cousins, Alex and Andrew Schaaf, who live in the Houston area and (sadly) are Astros fans. We were recently playing Major League Baseball 2K10 and Carlos Lee ran down a sharply hit ball to the outfield and made a nice catch. Either Alex or Andrew (I can't remember which one) made a comment saying "There's no way Carlos Lee is that fast." He comes in at 6'2" and 265, so I have a hard time believing that as well. Based off this picture it seems like he'd be better off as a limbo expert. Fatty for life.
3. Jim Thome
Token fat white guy here. He may be a little bit of a surprising choice, but he is 6'3" and 250 pounds. He has over 600 career home runs, which is good because he doesn't run very fast. This is more of a lifetime achievement award for having a long, productive career. Older pictures of him make him almost appear skinny, but he has certainly packed on the pounds as of late. Hey Jim Thome, this Buds for you.
2. CC Sabathia
6'7", 290 pounds. You are my hero, CC. Luckily you are very overpowering on the mound and use that large frame to your advantage. The Yankees are lucky that he has large, broad shoulders because they ask too much out of him. I would be CC's size if I were 8 inches taller. On an unrelated note, I think the Yankees staff purposely gives him a shirt that's a size or two too small to make sure that belly is on display for all to see. Long live the fatties!
1. Prince Fielder
He hits the ball out of the park alot, which is good because he can walk around the bases that way. He also plays first base, a fatties delight. Plus, he just LOOKS fat. I mean seriously. He's 5'11" and 275 pounds, which absolutely puts him into fatty territory. The first MLB game I went to was the Astros vs. the Brewers in Houston and I got a glimpse of Prince Fielder in person. My only thought was "Man, what a fatty." It's an honor to be in your fatty company, Prince.
5. David Ortiz
Anyone that has the nickname "Big Papi" is okay in my book. Two positions are popular among fatties: first base and designated hitter. It is obvious as to why they are popular. They both require far less physical than say center field or short stop. By checking in at 6'4", 235, he fits in to the fatty requirements. At this point he is purely a DH, further solidifying his fatty status.
4. Carlos Lee
Sorry, but I just couldn't resist using that picture. This spot is dedicated to my cousins, Alex and Andrew Schaaf, who live in the Houston area and (sadly) are Astros fans. We were recently playing Major League Baseball 2K10 and Carlos Lee ran down a sharply hit ball to the outfield and made a nice catch. Either Alex or Andrew (I can't remember which one) made a comment saying "There's no way Carlos Lee is that fast." He comes in at 6'2" and 265, so I have a hard time believing that as well. Based off this picture it seems like he'd be better off as a limbo expert. Fatty for life.
3. Jim Thome
Token fat white guy here. He may be a little bit of a surprising choice, but he is 6'3" and 250 pounds. He has over 600 career home runs, which is good because he doesn't run very fast. This is more of a lifetime achievement award for having a long, productive career. Older pictures of him make him almost appear skinny, but he has certainly packed on the pounds as of late. Hey Jim Thome, this Buds for you.
2. CC Sabathia
6'7", 290 pounds. You are my hero, CC. Luckily you are very overpowering on the mound and use that large frame to your advantage. The Yankees are lucky that he has large, broad shoulders because they ask too much out of him. I would be CC's size if I were 8 inches taller. On an unrelated note, I think the Yankees staff purposely gives him a shirt that's a size or two too small to make sure that belly is on display for all to see. Long live the fatties!
1. Prince Fielder
He hits the ball out of the park alot, which is good because he can walk around the bases that way. He also plays first base, a fatties delight. Plus, he just LOOKS fat. I mean seriously. He's 5'11" and 275 pounds, which absolutely puts him into fatty territory. The first MLB game I went to was the Astros vs. the Brewers in Houston and I got a glimpse of Prince Fielder in person. My only thought was "Man, what a fatty." It's an honor to be in your fatty company, Prince.
Wednesday, December 28, 2011
Top 5 Fatties in the NFL
This column is infinitely easier to write than the NBA one was. For one, no skinny people exist on the offensive line in the NFL. Granted, "skinny" is a loose term thrown around the NFL, especially on the line where 290 pounds would be considered skinny. I don't want this to be all linemen, however. Until he lost weight, LenDale White was pushing 275 pounds. For a running back in the NFL, that is fat. There is definitely a lineman bias, but I snuck a skill position player in there just because I can. As a former lineman it makes me feel better that skill position players can gain the "fatty" title as well. Here they are, starting with number five.
5. Vince Wilfork
He is here more out of respect than anything else. I am a big Patriots fan and I am constantly amazed at how much space Wilfork eats in the middle of that line. He is 6'2", 325 but it surprising athletic for that size although he doesn't look like it based of off this play. It almost gives me goose bumps seeing that jiggly mountain of a man rumble bumble and stumble (Chris Berman reference) his way down the field after that INT. He would be higher on this list, but I have too much respect for him.
4. Terrence Cody
Terrence Cody is the large man on top of Jamaal Charles (number 25 for the Chiefs) in case you didn't know. In this photo he seems to be saying, "Get in my belly." Just the way he completely engulfs the opposition was enough to land him on this prestigious list. He checks in at 6'6" and a massive 350 pounds. During the NFL combine there were multiple reports that he would never play in the NFL because he couldn't control his weight. At one point he was in the 375 range. He seems to have it kind of under control now. If you are looking for the funny out of this post, go to google images and type and in Terrence Cody. Look at all of the pictures of man boobs and thank me later.
3. Sebastian Janikowski
Okay, not really a skill position player, but he's not a lineman so cut me some slack. You can definitely see that pudge in this picture. I picture him as the type of player that probably plays most games either slightly drunk or hung over. Let's just say that you don't get that gut by drinking water. He's 6'2" and 250 pounds, as well as being very out of place at the kicker position. When you think of kickers, little 5'7", 165 lb guys probably pop into your head. He does have a shared record of longest field goal in NFL history at 63 yards, as well as this ridiculous attempt from 76 yards. Nothing wrong being a fatty if you're good. I'll drink to that.
2. BJ Raji
Just look at the way BJ Raji holds that football out there, like he's the king of the world. He is a serious gap stopper on the Packer defense and even got a couple of goal line carries as a fullback. He is 6'2" and 337, definitely fatty material. He also is the third nose tackle listed here, a position that must be popular among the "fatties." Actually come to think of it I was a nose tackle back in the day. There must be a reason so many fatties are drawn to it. I guess the main reason is you mostly are in the company of other fatties, and as fellow fatties they accept you for who you are: a fatty. There is nothing wrong with that Packers fans. Embrace BJ Raji being a top fatty. Hold this distinction as near to your hearts as you do your recent Super Bowl win.
5. Vince Wilfork
He is here more out of respect than anything else. I am a big Patriots fan and I am constantly amazed at how much space Wilfork eats in the middle of that line. He is 6'2", 325 but it surprising athletic for that size although he doesn't look like it based of off this play. It almost gives me goose bumps seeing that jiggly mountain of a man rumble bumble and stumble (Chris Berman reference) his way down the field after that INT. He would be higher on this list, but I have too much respect for him.
4. Terrence Cody
Terrence Cody is the large man on top of Jamaal Charles (number 25 for the Chiefs) in case you didn't know. In this photo he seems to be saying, "Get in my belly." Just the way he completely engulfs the opposition was enough to land him on this prestigious list. He checks in at 6'6" and a massive 350 pounds. During the NFL combine there were multiple reports that he would never play in the NFL because he couldn't control his weight. At one point he was in the 375 range. He seems to have it kind of under control now. If you are looking for the funny out of this post, go to google images and type and in Terrence Cody. Look at all of the pictures of man boobs and thank me later.
3. Sebastian Janikowski
Okay, not really a skill position player, but he's not a lineman so cut me some slack. You can definitely see that pudge in this picture. I picture him as the type of player that probably plays most games either slightly drunk or hung over. Let's just say that you don't get that gut by drinking water. He's 6'2" and 250 pounds, as well as being very out of place at the kicker position. When you think of kickers, little 5'7", 165 lb guys probably pop into your head. He does have a shared record of longest field goal in NFL history at 63 yards, as well as this ridiculous attempt from 76 yards. Nothing wrong being a fatty if you're good. I'll drink to that.
2. BJ Raji
Just look at the way BJ Raji holds that football out there, like he's the king of the world. He is a serious gap stopper on the Packer defense and even got a couple of goal line carries as a fullback. He is 6'2" and 337, definitely fatty material. He also is the third nose tackle listed here, a position that must be popular among the "fatties." Actually come to think of it I was a nose tackle back in the day. There must be a reason so many fatties are drawn to it. I guess the main reason is you mostly are in the company of other fatties, and as fellow fatties they accept you for who you are: a fatty. There is nothing wrong with that Packers fans. Embrace BJ Raji being a top fatty. Hold this distinction as near to your hearts as you do your recent Super Bowl win.
1. Casey Hampton
I figured I might as well make 4 out of 5 of them Nose Tackles right? The number one spot is dedicated to fellow fatty Chad Hoy. Chad, I hope you read this sometime because I went through the effort of singling you out like that. Ladies, yes, Chad Hoy is single. Look him up on facebook. Anyway, Casey Hampton is another mountain of a man that clogs the middle of the Pittsburgh defensive line. He comes in at 6'1" and 325 pounds. I would not want to run into any of these guys in a dark alley, except maybe Janikowski, I could probably take him with these sweet moves I learned off of Youtube.
That is all for now, hope you enjoyed. Coming soon....MLB fatties. Prince Fielder, you have been warned.
I figured I might as well make 4 out of 5 of them Nose Tackles right? The number one spot is dedicated to fellow fatty Chad Hoy. Chad, I hope you read this sometime because I went through the effort of singling you out like that. Ladies, yes, Chad Hoy is single. Look him up on facebook. Anyway, Casey Hampton is another mountain of a man that clogs the middle of the Pittsburgh defensive line. He comes in at 6'1" and 325 pounds. I would not want to run into any of these guys in a dark alley, except maybe Janikowski, I could probably take him with these sweet moves I learned off of Youtube.
That is all for now, hope you enjoyed. Coming soon....MLB fatties. Prince Fielder, you have been warned.
Friday, December 23, 2011
Top 5 Fatties in the NBA
I'll be upfront with you, this post was inspired by Eddy Curry. Heat fans this year try to justify the signing by saying he's in the best shape of his career, thing is, he was never IN shape. Since I'm rolling with a fat theme here I though I trot out the top 5 fatties from the NBA, NFL, and MLB (starting with Prince Fielder on that one). I did extensive research and here are the unofficial official results, starting with number 5:
5. Glen Davis
You don't get the nickname "Big Baby" for no reason. Let's put in this way: Celtics fans are excited that Brandon Bass can jump more that 6 inches off the ground. Official stats on Big Baby- 6'9" , 290. Hopefully Orlando likes out of shape 4's that can barely get up and down the court. That last sentence was a joke. Sort of.
4. Luke Harangody
I think it's a rule that I must include one Irishman so here is my obligatory ginger. It was hard to find a picture of him in actual NBA action so that can only mean one thing: He's turrible. I hate to be racist, but I blame it on the red hair. He comes in at 6'7" 255. He's here not so much because he's fat, but because he's a redhead and looks goofy.
3. Baron Davis
I didn't want to make this all centers and forwards, and he is hefty by guard standards. He's 6'3" , 220 however he could drop 20 pounds if he shaved the beard. If not for a stretch last year when he got trade to the Clippers and actually tried, people may have thought he was sleepwalking through the entire NBA season. Sleepy all the time? Sounds like a fattie to me.
2. Charles Barkley
I purposely used an extra large picture to show how Sir Charles has packed on the pounds since his playing days. While not technically a player, he is a involved with the NBA through TV so close enough. He's 6'6" 280 and had this quote in 2009 "My doctor told me I was a Happy Meal away from diabetes. I have to get my fat ass back together." He is also turrible at swinging a golf club.
1. Eddy Curry
Finally, who this post was inspired by. If you see reports of Eddy Curry weightloss, don't believe it. At one point in time, people thought the earth was flat. If the earth was flat, it's just because Eddy Curry squished it flat. He has been a waste of space in every one of his stops in the league so far, nothing leads me to believe that Miami will be any different. He checks in at 7' , 320. Ladies and gentleman, fatties unite!
5. Glen Davis
You don't get the nickname "Big Baby" for no reason. Let's put in this way: Celtics fans are excited that Brandon Bass can jump more that 6 inches off the ground. Official stats on Big Baby- 6'9" , 290. Hopefully Orlando likes out of shape 4's that can barely get up and down the court. That last sentence was a joke. Sort of.
4. Luke Harangody
I think it's a rule that I must include one Irishman so here is my obligatory ginger. It was hard to find a picture of him in actual NBA action so that can only mean one thing: He's turrible. I hate to be racist, but I blame it on the red hair. He comes in at 6'7" 255. He's here not so much because he's fat, but because he's a redhead and looks goofy.
3. Baron Davis
I didn't want to make this all centers and forwards, and he is hefty by guard standards. He's 6'3" , 220 however he could drop 20 pounds if he shaved the beard. If not for a stretch last year when he got trade to the Clippers and actually tried, people may have thought he was sleepwalking through the entire NBA season. Sleepy all the time? Sounds like a fattie to me.
2. Charles Barkley
I purposely used an extra large picture to show how Sir Charles has packed on the pounds since his playing days. While not technically a player, he is a involved with the NBA through TV so close enough. He's 6'6" 280 and had this quote in 2009 "My doctor told me I was a Happy Meal away from diabetes. I have to get my fat ass back together." He is also turrible at swinging a golf club.
1. Eddy Curry
Finally, who this post was inspired by. If you see reports of Eddy Curry weightloss, don't believe it. At one point in time, people thought the earth was flat. If the earth was flat, it's just because Eddy Curry squished it flat. He has been a waste of space in every one of his stops in the league so far, nothing leads me to believe that Miami will be any different. He checks in at 7' , 320. Ladies and gentleman, fatties unite!
Monday, December 19, 2011
Fat People are always funny
First of all, thanks for reading this, whoever you are. I have recently become inspired to join the blogging community, even though I hate to write. Everywhere I go, I fall victim to a stereotype. People look at my size and immediately assume that I am funny. I get compared to people such as Chris Farley and Jack Black, two comedians of the hefty variety. While I appreciate the back-handed compliment, it's alot of pressure to bear on these broad but normal size shoulders. In order to please the masses(or the two or so people that will read this), I will try to blog about once a week; or whenever I get around to it. I am a huge sports fan, so most of the writing will probably focus on that, but I also plan to tackle pop culture(here's to you reality TV, also know as why comedians still have jobs). If you have any topic suggestions, my email is brian_chapple2000@yahoo.com. I suppose this is all for the first post.
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