The hot wife conundrum

Have you ever been watching a TV show that features a large man and a smokin' hot wife and think to yourself, "Why in the world is she with him?" This was a staple of 90's and early 2000's sitcoms. The best example is probably The King of Queens. Kevin James had a hottie of a wife on that show (although she let herself go as the seasons went along, but that is a moot point). I have always been fascinated with this pairing, but more importantly I wonder why it never happens in real life. The fattie never gets the hottie in real life (Believe me, I know from experience). This has inspired me to come up with the top five fattie husbands/ smokin' hot wife combinations from either TV shows or movies.

5. According to Jim


He got fatter as the series went along. We were all wondering what in the world is she still doing with him (Well, I mean they had kids, so I guess there's that). Jim never fully appreciated his smokin' hot wife the way a fattie should but then again he wasn't that fat until the 4th season so I suppose he gets a pass.

4. The Simpsons

And you thought this was going to be confined to sitcoms. Probably the original fat slob with a hottie pairing. The key to making this pairing work is that the male has to be funny. That's how fat people get by in show business: they have to be funny. Name an unfunny fat actor working right now, I don't think you can.

3. Any movie Kevin James has been in

Did I use this picture for the mustache in the back? The answer is yes, yes I did. Kevin James always gets paired with a hottie, no matter what movie he is in. Logic would suggest that fatties should be paired with other fatties, but Kevin James has different ideas. Even Kevin James movies that you have never seen (Did you know he made a movie called The Zookeeper? Well neither did anyone else.) still feature a smokin' hot babe in them. Once again if you are going to make this pairing work, the guy has to be funny (Ladies, if you are interested in this pairing, email me at brian_chapple2000@yahoo.com).

2. George Lopez

George was as fat as he was pudgy, but it's okay to bend the rules a little bit. I'm not so sure this pairing worked that well because I don't think he's that funny. Replace Chris Farley in this show and it is hilarious (Mostly because Chris Farley is the title character in the George Lopez Show).

1. The King of Queens

She is still way to hot for him. I also think the people at King of Queens put Kevin James in extra tight delivery shorts to play up the fact that he's fatter than what he really is. To all my fellow fatties out there, there are two rules if you too want to real in a hottie. 1. Be really funny 2. Have a crapload of money